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The Hunger Game/Transcript
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "The Hunger Game" from the television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks. Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, John P. McCann. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by action=history}} contributors of this article. __TOC__ Act 1 (the villagers are walking sadly as their stomachs growled. A goat looked his pot and saw no food, his stomach growled. a bunny opened her cabinet, no food she sighs as her stomach growled. The villagers can't find any food at the market. Then they heard a loud growling which is coming from Po's stomach, he groaned as he hit his head on the table.) Po: Five grains of rice? five?! that's worse than none. Tigress: As long as the village goes hungry, we will go hungry as well. Po: Yeah, but when I agreed to that thought it meant 'hungry' not 'hungry'! Viper: Sorry Po, but until we catch the food bandits and end this famine. five grains is all the rice you- Po:(drools with his tongue out) Viper as a giant noodle: You're seeing me as a giant noodle again, aren't you? Po:(wipes his mouth) Sorry Viper it's just I-I need food. Crane: We all do. Mantis: I don't know what you complaining about, I am stuffed. whoo! (eats a grain of rice) (everyone glared at mantis) Mantis: What, rice in my teeth? (Po growls and lounge at mantis) Shifu: Po!(grabs po)come with me(the furious five followed shifu) (they're outside going downstairs) Shifu: This famine is reaching a critical point, I'm sure how long the villagers can hold up. Tigress: Any luck on figuring out who's stealing the food master shifu? Shifu: Unfortunately not(Po walks close to him) but we have a short-term solution to the valleys'-(Po stiffs) troubles.(Po drools) Shifu: as a giant rice ball: You're seeing me as a giant rice ball again, aren't you? Po: Ahh (gulps) a devilishly handsome giant rice ball. Shifu: A newcomer, Madame Zhou has donated a shipment of rice to the village. I'm sending you to protect that rice. Po: By eating it(the furious five continues downstairs)cause than it'll be in our stomach, and no one will be able to-(everyone glared at Po) I'm open to other suggestions. (in the bamboo forest) Monkey: Come on Po, if you keep stopping to lick rocks, we're never gonna get there. Po: It's the next best thing to eating some these rocks taste pretty(Po give the rock a long lick while he groans than he makes a face) Agh!,and this is not one of these rocks(walks away) (Po and the furious five come to a red mansion) Po: Woah!, Madame Zhou must be richer than lychee nut pudding in a brown sugar demiglace. Crane: We get it, you're hungry.(Po knocks on the door and he and the furious five walked in) Madame Zhou: Ooh company's here, welcome, welcome, welcome. it's so nice to see new faces, I do get so lonely out here I my own. I'm Madame Zhou.(sees Po and goes to him) Po: Oof! Madame Zhou: Oh, and you're the mighty dragon warrior, sole protector of the Valley of Peace. Po: Well I(the furious five glared at him) (sheepishly moves her arms) ha, not really sole protector. Madame Zhou: Would you to come in and see some portraits of my grandchildren? Po: Uh sounds great, really, but we should probably get that rice back to the village. Madame Zhou: oh don't go yet have you eaten?( turns Po to a table) I took the liberty of preparing a small lunch.(laughs) (A feast of dumplings, bean buns, bowls of noodles, some drink mooncakes and egg rolls on the table) Po: (gasps) Until now I didn't know my eyes were hungry too(wipes his eye and runs to the food but mantis leaps on his arm) Mantis: Po, honor demands that we not eats while the village starves. Po: Honor demands, I not starve while my stomach eats. Mantis: That(facepalms)doesn't make sense. Po: You're right, I must be delirious. should probably eat something(lounges that the table causing mantis to fall off, and the food seems to be moving off the table and Po falls on the table) Agh! Tigress: Rats! Po: I know, I was so close! Monkey: No Po, Rats!(the rats turn to them Po shudder as a tail wags and Madame Zhou grabs Po's arm feeling scared) (an obese rat walks up while a art give a dumpling to him) Obese rat: Oh, jade palace warriors,(goes closes) how very whimsical.(walks up to the furious five and squeaks) Why so sad?(sit on the dumpling) Is the chunky panda hungry? Po: Hey buddy, I've lost almost to pounds since this famine began, these are my skinny pants. Tigress: You're the whose been stealing the village's food! Obese rat:(spins on the dumpling)and you're the ones who are gonna try and stop me.well here we all are(come close)TRY AND STOP ME!(uses his mallet to smoosh the dumpling and filling got on Po's face) Po:(horrified gasp) no one hurts food on my watch!(lounge at the but he uses a red cloth and dodges Po) Madame Zhou:(gasps)(Po tries to catch the rat but he's to nimble. when Po falls and catches him the rat use his mallet to hurt Po's hand and Po whacks the rat and he hits the wall. Po was about to make his next move) (the rat offers him a dumpling) Obese rat: Dumpling? (Po drools, the rat gives Po the dumpling and he eats it) Po: Mmm. Obese rat: Hiya(throw Po on the wall and he fall the rat lands on Po and puts his foot on his cheek) you should learn some self control, you might live longer.(walks on his head to his chest) leave the rice to us or my brothers and I will make things, unpleasant for you.(holds out his mallet) Po: look around rat boy, your brothers have already given up. (the rats surrendering) Obese rat: True. Good thing I have sisters(laughs as four rats appeared on the roof Po looked shocked as more rats appeared on the roof) (laughs manically) Po:Uhh, lovely family.(the rat pretends to swim off of Po while humming) (end of act 1) Act 2 (the rat are still on the roof, the furious five looked up, Po still looked shocked, and the obese rat laughs. The rats scurried down the wall. Tigress braces herself as the rats jumped up and knocked her with a rice kart. Tigress lands on her feet and whack a rat. The rat punches mantis and he uses the chopsticks as staffs to fight back. Po tries to fight the obese rat but he zipped away as Po runs after him) Po: Hu-wa! (Viper slithers around the rats carrying a bag of rice and catches them. Three rats throw plates at monkey, but monkey threw the plates at them. The plate hit the rat while the other two rats jumped up dodging the other plate. Crane catches the rats and hits them together.) (The obese rat corners Madame Zhou get attacks her) Obese rat: yah! Madame Zhou:(screams) Help! someone help! (Po sees this and throw an apple to knock the rat off of Madame Zhou and she faints. the rats started leave, The obese rat gets up and catches up to his siblings as they went to a hole. the obese rat stop at the hole and turns to Po) Obese rat: You win this one, panda.(Po runs to him)But what will you eat after we steal the rest of the valley's food? YOUR MONKEY FRIEND,WITH MASTARD SAUCE?!(Po went to the hole to catch the rat but he got away)(laughs) Mustard sauce!(monkey gives him a worried look) Po: Relax Monkey, you're my buddy(holds out his arms for a hug, but monkey walks away. Po's stomach growled as he follows him) (under breath) My delicious, tasty buddy. (Tigress and Po went to check on Madame Zhou who wake up and jumps into Po's arms) Madame Zhou: You saved me from that awful rat, thank you, thank you, thank you! Po: You really are lonely, aren't you? Mantis: They took the rice! (The karts are empty) Madame Zhou: Oh, this is just dreadful. I'm so very sorry, I'll sent another province for more at once. Tigress: Many thanks, Madame Zhou.(They bowed thank you) Come on, we have to tell master shifu about those rats. (Madame Zhou grabbed po by his arm) Madame Zhou: You should stop by for a snack anytime you like. Po: really?(looks at the furious five leaving) (sighs) I would but-(turns his head facing her) Madame Zhou: It'll be our little secret. Crane: Po let's go!(waits for him at the door) Po: Coming!(catches up to his friends as Madame Zhou watches him leave) (that night at the jade palace) Shifu: The rats you faced are called, The Lao Shu. (everyone but Po gasped) Po: How come everyone but me knows what stuff means? Shifu: The Lao Shu are a band of renegades(flashback begins)that number in the hundreds, perhaps the thousands. Their leader, Ju-long is as deadly as he is unbalanced(The Lao Shu rats stole clothes and money from the villager) Shifu: Money means nothing to him,(Ju-long puts the money bag in the cannon) he inflicts suffering and chaos jut for the fun of it(cannon shoots money) Villagers:(screams)Shifu: He is usually successful at causing both.(dynamite explodes and the flashback ends) Shifu: These villains are unlike any you have faced. get some rest, tomorrow we train(they bowed) (Po tries to sleep but his stomach is keeping him awake)Po:(groans)(Po think weather or not he should go to Madame Zhou's)Po: Agh! (Po runs downstairs and stops) Po: This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong!(stomach growls and he continued running down)This is wrong-ish, this is wrong-ish, this is wrong-ish. (Po walks as his his stomach growls. than he sees a door opening revealing Madame Zhou standing in a seductive pose) (Po waves as Madame Zhou run to hug him) Madame Zhou: You made it! Po: You know, for an older lady you're pretty spry. Madame Zhou: I just get excited to see anybody, and that includes you.(brings Po inside her home) Po: Huh, I feel(gasp)special. Madame Zhou: You like?(a feast of bean buns, dumplings, noodles, mooncakes, etc. on three tables) Po:(drools and nods) Madame Zhou: I was so afraid you would come, what with the villagers starving and all. (Po kept drooling than he stopped)Po: (sighs)This is a mistake, I should be-(Madame Zhou offers Po a stuffed fig)Madame Zhou: Stuffed fig?(give it to Po) (dream sequence begins with Po on a stuffed fig and he glides off it. Po land in a pool of figs and eats them. Po jumps as he eats raining figs, finally, Po land on a floor of stuffed figs and hums as Madame Zhou approaches him and the sequence ends) Po: Yeah, I can stay for a bit. (The next morning, Monkey and Tigress are training with each other while grunting weakly because of their hunger) (Shifu walks between the furious five as they try to train) Shifu: More rice was stolen last night, fight through the hunger. The Lao Shu wouldn't care you haven't eaten, neither should-(Po grunts powerfully as his punches and kicks the training equipment. Shifu was shocked) you. (The next night, Po runs downstairs and through the village) Ju-long:(laughs manically) (The villagers have a plate of food, but The Lao Shu stole it) (At Madame Zhou's Po happily eats a handful of dumplings while Madame Zhou watches) Po: Mmm(He gobbles up a plate of dumplings and threw it aside, than Po grabs another plate and continues eating) (Shifu serves Tigress five grains of rice) (The night after, Madame Zhou serve some dumpling as Po chop them) (Shifu and The Furious Five looked down at a bag of rice) Madame Zhou: This one is a dumpling stuffed inside another dumpling. Po: Ooh, a duh-dumpling!(eat the duh-dumpling) (gulps) Oh yeah. (the bag is now empty)Shifu:(sighs) (The next morning) Shifu: I've located the last rice storehouse in the valley of peace(Po scatting)No doubt Ju-long would-Panda!(Po stops scatting and joins them) Shifu: Stakeout that storehouse and catch The Lao Shu in the act, meet up at 7:00(The Furious Five bowed and leave) Po: Uhh 7:00 tonight, really. Shifu: Do you have somewhere to be? Po:(scoffs) No, of course not, I just wanna be prompt. Prompt Po that's-that's what they call. Tigress: No one calls you that. Po: Maybe they should(Tigress sighs) Shifu: It seems you're getting better at dealing with your hunger. Po: Uhh yeah, I took it to a you know brain level, it's-it's like I'm not even hungry anymore. Shifu: I'm proud of you, Panda. you finally mastered your implosives, instead of letting them master you, well done. Po:(nervously chuckles then leaves) (That afternoon, Po goes to Madame Zhou's) Po:(knocks) Madame Zhou,(opens door) sorry I'm early but um- Madame Zhou:(groans) Are you okay? Madame Zhou: I am now that your here, I prepared something special for you. Po: Unfortunately, I can't stay. we're staking out the storehouse to keep Ju-long from stealing the rice(Madame pulls him in) and it's not just that I really shouldn't be coming here at all, which is-what is that? (A display of dumplings on a big table)Madame Zhou: I call it 'Cavalcade of dumplings.' (Po in awe and he squeals as he falls to the ground) (That night, at the rice storehouse) Viper: 8:00 and no sign of Ju-long. Crane: Or Prompt Po. Mantis: I can't believe he let the villagers down like this! Monkey: He'll be here, he's probably doing something important. Tigress: Forget about Po, just stay alert. We can't let Ju-long get the drop on us. Ju-long: Oospy Daisy, too late. but hey, at least we get to spend some quality time together(laughs manically as the lao shu came and the Furious Five braced themselves) (end of act 2) Act 3 (the following morning, Po tiptoed in the hallway,until he sees the furious five in the dining room ailing, while Shifu is tending their injuries.) Po:(walks in the dining room)Guys, what happen? Tigress: Where were you last night? Po: Me oh I-I must've got my storehouses mixed up and-(tries to slurp up a grain of rice on his chest. but they looked disturbed at him what he's doing, and Po brushes the rice grain off of him) Okay, I went to Madame Zhou's, But its not what you think. She's all alone out there, and I went keep her company. Shifu: Out of the kindness of your heart? Po: Yes! Shifu: And not to stuff your face with food? Po: Uhh ha did I eat? I'm not sure if food actually touch my- Shifu:(touches Po's elbow) Palm sauce on your elbow(goes up)bean paste on your chin(goes down and touches Po's foot)A dumpling between your toes. Mantis:(leaps to Po's foot with a dumpling on it) Dude seriously, you eat like a bear! Shifu: So you ate while the valley starves and your friends were attacked?(Po looks down) Tigress: Did you at least have the decency to bring back some food with you? Po: Yes? (lifts his dumping foot) foot dumpling? Mantis: Dude! (the furious five grumbled as they walked angrily away) Po: Monkey!, guys!, Master! Shifu:(angrily) Every time you go missing, the Lao Shu rave our rice stores! Po: But Master Shifu I- Shifu: Because of your selfishness, last night Ju-long stole the last of food. Hunger is the new master of the valley of peace.(gives Po a dumpling) Po: Mmm(chews but he scrunches his cheeks sheepishly) (Shifu looked disappointedly at Po) Shifu: You're still a prisoner of your impulses, Po!(hits Po belly with his staff twice) Until you learn and accept your weaknesses, selflessness will remain your master. (Shifu walks away as Po looked ashamed and shallows) (that afternoon, Po went to Madame Zhou's) Po:(knocks) Madame Zhou? it's Po.(pulls on the door but it locked. he pulls harder and it wouldn't budge) Madame Zhou are you here? we have to take your dumplings and figs and everything to the village. it's the right thing to-(crunch) rice. (Po follows the rice trail to the back door and knocks but no one is here. He pushed the door open) I'm coming in, but the door is open.(the rice trail stops at a rug) Huh, the trail just stops(He accidently pushed a vase which opens a secret door) (machinery rumbling)(revealing a secret storage room full of rice) Po:(gasps) The rice! Ju-long's been here. MADAME ZHOU! MADAME- oof! Madame Zhou: Ooh! Po: Oh, thank goodness you're okay. You're in danger Ju-long hid the stolen rice here. Madame Zhou: Well of course He did, He did steal it for me after all(grabs a fig from her purse) Stuffed fig? (Po drools and she gives him the fig) Po: How's that now? Madame Zhou: Now I can sell the rice for tidy profit, how about some pudding? Po: Woah5x I just saw Ju-long attacking you. Madame Zhou: Oh, that was his idea, something about diverting suspicion off of me. Let me see about that pudding.(Po turns Madame Zhou facing him) Po: Enough with the pudding, just so I'm clear you and I are friends. Madame Zhou: Uh-huh. Po: And you've been feeding me so I come spend my time with you? Madame Zhou: That's right. Po: And you are willing to let innocent villagers stave just so you can some money?! Madame Zhou: Exactly. We're not that different Po, I love money and you love food.(grabs a dumpling from her purse) Here have another dumpling.(Po eats the dumpling) Po: Madame Zhou, you are not nice! Madame Zhou: Oh, not even a little. I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out. Po: (grabs Madame Zhou by the shoulder) Better late than never. Come on, I have to take you to jail. Madame Zhou: (pushes his arm off her)Oh Po I'm afraid that's gonna be problem.(Ju-long comes out of her purse) Ju-long: Come out, Come out, wherever you are! Po: I am out. Ju-long: Oh really? how's the view?(laughs as he pounces on Po) Po:(groans)(Madame Zhou throws herself on top of him) Madame Zhou: After you get rid him, we'll have almond cake. Bye Po.(give him a dumpling from her purse and leaves) Ju-long: Still thinking about food at a time like this? And they call me crazy. Boys! (the lao Shu popped up from the furniture and charged at Po, when they started fighting ju-long gets off and scoots away while humming)(grunting) (One rat bite Po's foot)Po: Ow!(they picked Po up and throw him against a three sets of armor. Po uses the armor to trap the lao shu) Ju-long: What a great fight, and these seats. woah! I can hardly wait for the big finale! Po: Big finale?(the armor rose up revealing the lao shu inside controlling it. they swatted Po) Ju-long:(laughs) (Po gets up and fights the armored lao shu while stuck to a chair) Ju-long: Stick and move!(laughs)Ho! (the rats knock po off he almost falls into the cellar and flips himself back up) Ju-long: Wow! (Po punches but he hit the armor) Po: Ow!(he throws a tea kettle in the armor, the rats threw it back) (Po almost fell in the storage room. he tries to punch but his got his hand in the first armor, Po's other hand is in the second armor, and his foot is in the third armor.) Po:(straining)(does a back flip and gets the armored lao Shu in the storage room)(rice shifting)(Po stances) Ju-long: Impressive! You deserve a present.(gets an ax)How about a panda skin rug!(laughs as he swings the ax at Po causing him to fall in the storage) (The Lao Shu rose up from the rice. Po tries to dodge the lao Shu's armor but they pushed him down so he can't move) Ju-long: A wise man once said: AHH RATS!!!(laughs as he danced victoriously then CLANG! someone hits him with a shovel, Ju-long salutes before he tumbled like a domino into the storage revealing Madame Zhou with a shovel. Ju-long lands on Po's face) Madame Zhou:(secret door closing)Thanks for your help Ju-long, but your services are no longer needed. Oh, and try not to die all over the rice, lower the value. Ta!(door closed) (locks) (Po pushes the Lao Shu off of him) (Po feels for a way out but is interrupted by Ju-long's laughing) Po: Why are you laughing, she just double-crossed you! (Ju-long stops) Ju-long: No I double-crossed her, she's not gonna make a dime on this rice because I rigged it all to explode!(continues laughing and Po started laughing) Po: No way, she'll never see that coming. Oh man, when's it gonna blow up Ju-long: Anytime now! (Po and Ju-long laughed as the dynamite light burned away the string, than they stopped laughed realizing at their in the storage and they going to explode with the rice. Po and Ju-long screamed tries the find a way out of the secret storage room. Po with his quick thinking uses the Lao Shu as rope tied to a suit of armor. Po:(swings the amor a around and around)(( one two and now!( the amour Hunger Game Hunger Game Hunger Game Hunger Game